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Bill of Rights to Live By
No one, under any circumstances, deserves to feel disregarded, insulted, controlled, coerced, intimidated, hurt, hit, pushed, grabbed, or touched in any undesired way.
Nothing that anyone in the family says of does justifies abuse. One act of abuse never justifies another.
Everyone has a right and the responsibility to heal suffering. Whenever we hurt a loved one we bleed a little inside. That internal injury, unhealed, becomes the source of still more anger, aggression, diminished sense of self, and enduring misery.
Why do you bleed inside when you hurt people you love?
Imagine the worse thing you ever said or did to someone you love. Now imagine a stranger saying or doing that same thing to that person. What would your response be?
When attached to someone, you have an unconscious, automatic instinct to protect. What happens to you, when you harm that same person?
When you hurt someone you love, you are violating your basic instinct to protect, and no matter how justified you may feel at the time you always feel bad about yourself. No one feels proud of hurting someone they love.
You have a responsibility to heal your hurt before it motivates you to hurt others.
Learning emotional regulation skills and HEALS, a healing technique, you can successfully change abusive/violent behaviours. This approach is non-judgemental, non-blaming and has an 87% success rate based on victim reports.
The Core Value course are designed to internally motivate you to want to change abusive behaviour and to learn new and better ways to deal with hurt feelings.
What Abuse Can Do to You and Your Family
No One Escapes!
- All victims of family abuse, all abusers, and all children of victims and all witnesses of abuse lose some degree of dignity and autonomy, which is the ability to decide one’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.
- At least half victims, abusers, children, and witnesses suffer from clinical anxiety and depression. Most lack self-esteem.
- Emotional abuse is usually more psychologically damaging than physical abuse.
- Abuse tends to get worse without intervention from an extended family member or someone outside the family who glimpses through the veil of pretence.
- Witnessing abuse makes a child ten times more likely to become either an abuser or a victim of abuse. As adults, they are at increased risk of alcoholism, criminality, mental health problems, and poverty.
- Symptoms of children in abusive families may include one or more of the following: depression (looks like chronic boredom), anxiety, school problems, aggressiveness, hyperactivity, low self-esteem, exhibiting over-emotionality (anger or excitability or frequent crying), or no emotions at all.
Symptoms of victims and abusers often include one or more of the following:
- Trouble sleeping
- Frequent periods of sadness or crying
- Continual worry and anxiety
- Excessive anger
- Confusion/impaired decision-making
I hope you find this article useful.